


Miss you

by Youthgoneoscarwilde



Category: Mötley Crüe, W.A.S.P. (Band)
Genre: Affection, Blackie Lawless - Freeform, Fluff, Issues, Love, Love Confession, M/M, Memorys, Motel, Sex, Smoking, body issues, feeling depressed, loose of weight, motel sex, need of help, nikki sixx - Freeform, nostalgic, past relationship, sad depresse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23656204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youthgoneoscarwilde/pseuds/Youthgoneoscarwilde
Summary: Nikki is feeling lonely and depressed, he and Blackie meet up in the motel they once used to meet in to fuck all night. Can Blackie be what Nikki needs and wants?
Relationships: Blackie Lawless/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Miss you

**Author's Note:**

> This is nothing but fiction and has nothing to do with the characters real life. It’s also not based on real events, I don’t make any money from it - I don’t wanna disrespect anyone’s private life, I also respect real relationships and peoples lives!  
> Lots of love A

Nikki twisted the phone cord between his fingers. ,, Are you in town?“ He then murmured, eyes looking down to his lap. There was Moment of silence on the other end, then Blackie blew some air out of his lungs. ,, Yeah, sure.“ ,, Same time, same place, as always?“ Nikki asked, knowing damn well that Blackie wouldn’t take him any other place. He never had.   
,, Yes“ Blackie agreed and Nikki was about to add something else, something all long the lines of:,, I am lonely, I need help“ that he knew we would have regarded later but Blackie had hung up before he could. 

Nikki could see Blackie arriving as he had pushed the small curtain infront of the window aside. He was wearing some half tight jeans, biker boots and some old leather jacket with fringes that Nikki remembered from their days back together. He wore some WASP shirt underneath and for a moment Nikki hoped that Blackie wouldn’t come to the door, that he would turn around and leave again. But Blackie seemed almost exited when he walked up to the door, that was a faded blue and where one of the numbers that were supposed to name it ,80’ was missing. Nikki had heard his motor bike arrive before he saw it and for a short moment he thought about grabbing his stuff and heading out of the room before Blackie could see him, but then he had already see the Bike and knew Blackie wouldn’t have let him go without a explanation or money for the gas he wasted to get there. Nikki knew that, it was Blackie Lawless after all. He returned to the bed, knowing Blackie would open the door any secound and pushed out his cigarette in the ashtray next to him on the bed. There was a hole burned into the mattress, that was from him, put there years ago when he was still happy and Blackie was too. Blackie had hold his hands tightly together above his head before Nikki knew what was happening to him and by doing this Nikkis half smoked cigarette had met the mattress and burned a nice little whole in it. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other back then and Nikki remembered that Blackie had rolled over in the middle of the night; He himself had woken up when someone had started to scream at his hoe in the next room and as he couldn’t go back to sleep had light a cigarette, and pressed kisses onto his back before grabbing for him and moving Nikkis body under his own. ,, See how good I am to you?“ He had whispered, referring to the couple fighting next door and not caring that Nikkis cigarette was burning a hole into the mattress. ,, I am not your whore“ Nikki had answered with a lazy smile. ,, But everyone thinks you are, the men at the reception things you are. I am sure he would fuck you if I would let him, he would pay me for it. He’s always staring at you when we arrive.“ Nikki had rolled his eyes at that, but a gasp left his mouth when Blackie, without warning pushed into him. He was still loose from when they had done it before they had fallen asleep. His own hips shoot up to meet Blackies, his own breath going fast. ,, Though he will never touch you like a do.“ Blackie had added, before he started to move his body faster, one hand holding onto the headboard while the other still hold Nikkis hands together. A loud moan escaped the youngers lips when Blackie hit just the right spot. 

When the door sprung open, Nikki moved his eyes up to meet Blackies. The singer stripped out of his jacket before he said a word. ,, It’s been some time“ He then murmured. ,, Yeah“ Nikki answered. Back in the day Blackie would have thrown himself onto Nikki the moment the door was closed. Sometimes, when he was in a slow mood or worn out, he would call Nikki pretty and tell him how turned on he got by the other men. 

Blackie wouldn’t call him pretty now days. Because he wasn’t pretty anymore, his silky hair had become like straw from all the teasing and hair spray, his skin wasn’t soft and peachy anymore but looked pale and deadly. His eyes were not the focus anymore but the deep rings underneath. His body now looked skinny and unhealthy, he had checked this morning - you could see all of his rips. He looked worn out and like cheap whore, that hadn’t had any luck in life and somehow he was just that. Blackie wouldn’t call him pretty anymore and he was sure that he would have to think about something else then Nikkis body right now to get hard. He wasn’t what Blackie had enjoyed so much back then. He was lucky the other hadn’t turned around and left right after seeing him. After all this was all their realitionship has always been about: looks, right?

,,What’s going on in your life?“ Blackie asked and Nikki was surprised by the question, it wasn’t between them like this anymore and he didn’t expected Blackie to care or ask. ,, Just get naked“ He murmured in return. ,, What?“ Blackie raised an eyebrow. ,, Undress, that’s what we are for, right?“ Blackie looked him up and down and it made Nikki feel uncomfortable. ,, Okay“ He then said and reached for his own belt. Nikki looked away when the other started to undress, he knew that Blackie was good looking and he didn’t needed the contrast between them. He didn’t wanted to be remembered that while Blackie had gotten some muscles and glowing skin over the last few years, even though he was in WASP, even though he was partying hard, Nikki had become thin and unhealthy. 

Nikki remembered a few days ago, seeing the photo of Blackie in some Boulevard magazine. Tommy had tossed the paper over to him and had laughed while talking: ,, Ain’t that the guy you used to play with? Fucking bastard.“ Nikki had picked up the magazine and stared at the picture. Blackie all naked, only thing covering him was a guitar he was holding, head titled, little smirk on his face and hair almost down to his hips, skin shinning from the light or something. The picture showed off the muscles in his legs and arms. ,,Yeah“ Nikki had just answered and tossed the Magazin away.   
When he was back home he went to his bedroom and from underneath his bed pulled out an old box. He started at the Faded colour of it; ,,Merry fucking Christmas 1980 to you Nikki.“ Nikki had forgotten what was inside the box once, Blackie had never been good with gifts and it hadn’t been anything special. He didn’t knew what he had gotten Blackie for Christmas either, maybe he didn’t even had a present, Blackie was actually the person that remembered to get Christmas and birthday presents and all this stuff, Nikki often forget, maybe because this kind of stuff was often forgotten in his childhood too.

Later on Nikki had used the box to store more private things inside them, just like the stuff he was looking for now. It was buried deep down in the box and it took some time to get it, but then it was right before him. Those stupid photos, taken back when he and Blackie were still close, at some dirty old motel. Nikki didn’t remembered who got the idea to take those nudes but he still had them buried deep under his bed. They showed a different time and when he got up to look at himself in the mirror now, he realized how horribly different he looked from the Nikki on those nude photos. He stared at the ones that features Blackie, he looked as good as he did in this stupid newspaper Tommy had showed him earlier.

,, Am I the only one getting undressed?“ Blackie asked. ,, Sorry“Nikki murmured and reached for his own belt. Blackie glanced at him. ,, You didnt called me for sex did you?“ Nikki looked up. ,, What else would I call you for?“ And shrugged of his shirt and trousers. ,,Alright“ Blackie said. ,,If you don’t wanna tell me the truth.“ Nikki started at him for a moment before he just laid down on the bed.  
Blackie crawled over him and their eyes met. ,,Who’s fucking you now days? The kid or the old guy? Its not your silly singer, that’s for sure.“ He felt Blackies hand moving down between their bodies but he shook his head. ,, I came prepared.“ He said. ,, Alright“ Blackie nooded and shortly after Nikki felt him pushing in. This wasnt like it used to be, there was no fire between them and Nikki was aware that he could have aroused it, just for tonight.   
,,Old guy or the kid?“Blackie asked again, not yet moving. ,, No one“ Nikki whispered, slowly starting to move his hips to meet the singers. This wasn’t what he had hoped for, not the feeling he was craving but at least he didn’t felt lonely anymore, at least Blackie hadn’t left.

There was bit of change into Nikkis mood when Blackie started to hit the right spot, sucked on his neck, when he heard the low groans in his ears. He could let go for a moment, just hold onto the other and shut is mind off.  
When they had finished, Blackie pulled out and rolled over. ,, How long have you paid for?“ He asked, Nikki got up from the bed, wrapped in the blanket of the bed. ,, Whole night“ He murmured, walking over to the small table in the room to grab his cigarettes.   
,,Covering up yourself? That’s new“ Blackie commended, Nikki looked up from under long lashes, blowing smoke into the air. He just shrugged his shoulders. Back in the day he would have gone back to bed but now he just sat down on the chair next to the table. For a moment he could feel Blackies eyes lingering on him, a shudder run down his back at that. When he looked back up, Blackie had turned his head away. Nikki had do take him in for a minute, completely naked laying on the bed, propped on one elbow. Blackie had never been ashamed of himself, long black hair hanging down onto his chest. Nikkis eyes moved from his hair down his torso, following the few hairs that lead down to his crotch, then his long legs. Blackie fucking Lawless, 6‘3 on his bare feet, hair down to his hips almost and never ever ashamed of himself. If he wouldn’t have felt so lonely Nikki would have drooled at the sight of a naked Blackie on the bed next to him.   
He wanted to turn back time, to when they were close; god those nights had been hot. The window would turn foggy and sweat would run down their bodies, Nikki had always been worn out and sour in the morning. Nikki was sure they had done it every where in this stupid room; on the bed, on the floor, against the window and the walls, in the bathroom, shower.   
It was always said you needed to work out at the gym or something to be able to pull a 90 minutes show without running out of breath, but the best work out was fucking with Blackie Lawless the whole night. 

He could hear the bed moving and then Blackie stood in front of him. ,, Tell me what’s wrong.“ ,,Like you would care.“ Nikki pressed the cigarette out in the ashtray on the table and wanted to get up, but Blackie didn’t let him. Without looking at him, Nikki reached for the others dick, but Blackie pushed his hand away. ,, No. Come on, I am not a asshole. I have known you long enough to know somethings wrong.“ ,, I am lonely and... I feel like nobody likes me. I am doing horrible.“ ,, That’s all?“ ,, Yeah, Blackie that’s all! Just to put it into simple words. I knew I shouldn’t have called you, I knew you wouldn’t care. And I“ Nikki got up and pushed Blackie away. ,, God, I was stupid enough to think you would care a little bit, why did I even tell you?“He started do get into his jeans. ,,I was just craving some attention and I was stupid enough to believe you could be the right one. Cause I like you and I...“ There were hot tears running down the bassist cheeks, his finger trembling as he got dressed. ,, I knew you would come and fuck me... you fuck with everyone. I thought.... it dosent matter what I thought. I am out.“  
Nikki had put on his clothes and run out the door. 

He had come by taxi and now, with shaking fingers he tried to call one with the phone hanging on a pole outside the motel, the tears were still running down his checks and his voice was cut of by sobs when he ordered a taxi to pick him up. The sun was just going down and painted a beautiful background for the dirty motel, the ground was dirty and dry and only a car and Blackies motor cycle was parking in front of the motel. He heard Blackies footsteps but didn’t turned around. ,, Fuck off“ He just murmured. ,, You said I didn’t cared“ Blackie started, he stood next to him and was only wearing his jeans and the boots. ,, That’s not true. I have always cared about you, that’s way I helped you when you came to L.A., that’s why I allowed you to leave me behind and run off with this stupid kid drummer of yours. That’s why I came today. I have always cared about you, I have always done what I thought would be best for you. I didn’t expected that you wanted to fuck when you called this morning. I have seen the photos in the newspapers, I knew how you would look when I turned up. You expected me to leave, because you thought I didn’t knew and that I didn’t cared... but that’s wrong. I thought you wanted my help and thats why you called, but if you don’t that’s fine... I have always allowed you to use me just the way you wanted... if you just want to fuck, that’s something I have to accept.“ Blackie looked away and took a deep breath:,, I love you, you know? I have always loved you.“ He swallowed and Nikki didn’t said a word, but then he moved his hand and reached for Blackies. The singer looked down at the hand holding onto his and nooded. ,, Win it all (or) loose it all.“ Nikki murmured. He closed his eyes, a small breeze dancing over his face. ,, We should go back inside.“ Nikki then said. ,,Whatever you want“


End file.
